Happy Fourth of JULY!

This week's challenge, is enjoy the 4th!!

Have fun, and get frisky! If you don't have kids yet, get it on under
the fireworks!!


If so, be creative and surprise your husband somewhere fun and unexpected.......... Enjoy your weekend!!

More on BC

"Children are one of the greatest blessings in life, and their birth into loving and nurturing families is central to God’s purposes for humanity. When husband and wife are physically able, they have the privilege and responsibility to bring children into the world and to nurture them. The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private matter for the husband and wife.

Additional Information

God has a plan for the happiness of all who live on the earth, and the birth of children in loving families is central to His plan. The first commandment He gave to Adam and Eve was to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth” (Genesis 1:28). The scriptures declare, “Children are a heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons.

Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children.

Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God."

I found the above quote on LDS.org under Birth Control and I feel like this says it perfectly.  "Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple".  I love that the Lord trusts us and wants us, as a couple, to decide the course we should take.  (I also love "sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife" :)

To answer a few questions.....

There is just no perfect solution for everyone because each body makeup and chemistry is so different.  Hormonal options work great for many people, but for others, they not only cause miserable side effects, but can wreck havoc on fertility.  Depo Prevara is known to cause infertility that in many (many many) cases can be irreversible, although others are able to conceive within months after stopping the shots.  All forms of hormonal BC stop ovulation completely for the duration you are on them.  It will up to your body to "re-adjust" and begin ovulation again.  Sometimes, for some women, the body just has a harder time with this.  There is no way to know how your body with react to any form of hormonal birth control, so just listen to your body and pay attention to the side effects (your body's way of talking to you). 

IUD's have been around for centuries, and have even been found in the uterus' of excavated mummies in ancient Egypt!  A small piece of copper was placed inside the womb...the same type of copper used today in the Para Guard IUD.  Although it is true that IUD's may prevent implantation, this is not it's function.  Copper is a known spermicide and kills most sperm before they are able to get to an egg.  The copper also changes the cervical discharge making it more difficult for sperm to even enter the uterus.  The Para guard does not "float" around knocking off a fertilized egg, as was once believed.  In fact, if a sperm does make it past the copper (about a 98-99% chance it will not) and fertilize an egg the chances of that egg implanting and causing a pregnancy are 1 in 6.....the same number as for any fertilized egg implanting in any uterus!  The only risk is that if the IUD is not removed (it is easily removed during the first trimester) during the beginning of the pregnancy it can cause pre-mature rupture of membranes (it can poke the bag of water) during the sixth or seventh month.  

The Mirena IUD does not contain copper (it is plastic), but has progesterone which prevents ovulation (working the same way as hormonal BC).  The Mirena does not contain Estrogen, the culprit of most sever side effects, which is what makes this a better option for some.  Women who are sensitive to Estrogen do very well on Mirena, however, the progesterone in the Mirena can also cause problems (depression, lethargy), and since it does disrupt ovulation there is a greater risk of having trouble conceiving after it's removal.  Also, the Mirena is a little bit larger than the Para Guard making it difficult and more dangerous to insert in a women who has not been pregnant. Most Dr's will only insert a Para Guard in this case (and even then the risks are increased).

I hope this answers some questions :)

Birth Control

As crazy as life is, Aphrodite and I both ended up being out of town this last week, and I as I am sure she is
very busy, trying to get life back in order!

But I haven't forgotten about our blog, and thought I would just open it up for you guys to talk about birth control
in the comments.

What do you think about it? Are you on the pill, or a IUD, do you have your tubes tied? or has hubby considered, or already gotten a vasectomy?

I have a current medial condition where I can't have any more kids, or atleast is what I am told, so we don't use any birth control around here, my Dr. suggested just incase the 1% that I can get pregnant, I may get a IUD, because I don't want a surpirse pregnancy! This is why I feel a little unqualified to do this post, I haven't been on any birth control for years! It is great not to worry about it!

Weekend Challenge!

 Weekend Challenge

suggested by Sassyminx

 
 
Well ladies, it seems that another week has past and we are looking straight into this weekend, thus bringing on a whole new challenge. I hope that all went well last weekend! My husband had no complaints about last weeks challenge and my aggressiveness, I hope yours felt the same! It was fun to mix things up a bit, but now it is time to progress in our sexuality and receive a new challenge. This weekend, I want us to focus on Orgasm. More specifically your orgasm! In this last weeks post, one guest question talked about having an orgasm. Aphrodite suggested having one by way of the bathwater faucet. What a great idea! There are many ways to achieve orgasm, and I want us all to focus on this! Now for the challenge, I want you to either have your husband help out, or you take care of business your self. If that is uncomfortable for you to do all alone, I want you to take care of yourself while your husband watches or assists. Orgasm is such a healthy release and a necessary one as well. I have met far too many woman who have never experienced an orgasm. This is so sad to me. I want everywoman to feel this amazing rush of joy and pleasure that ends in such a relaxed and fulfilled state of mind, body, and soul! For some this will be very difficult, but for others it comes naturally. Which ever category you fall into, just remember to relax and enjoy what feels good. Don't try so hard that it becomes a chore. If it seems impossible, really try the bathtub. It will work. I'll bet that our husbands would find that very sexy and alluring to watch this evolution take place. Self touch while having your husband involved is a huge turn on from what I have gathered. So let your inhibitions fly out the window and have some mind blowing orgasms! Good luck ladies! Let me know how this goes for you!
 
Always finding new frontiers,
Sassyminx

Next Question....

I need help with our next question!

"When hubby and I got married, many years ago, we would have sex sometime 7 times a day. We have slowed down a bit to where it is 5 times a week. But I am highly sexual and he seems to not want it as often as I do. Any suggestion? Sometime when I approach him in a sexual way he looks like he is thinking Again. It has gotten worse as I have been exercising and having more energy I want more sex. Help!!"

I am pretty sure that a lot of marriages have this problem to some degree....that one of you wants sex more than the other.  It can be a frustrating challenge for sure!  So what do you do?  

In my own marriage we have struggled with this a little in the last few years as my husband's sex drive has naturally decreased.  There were times I felt rejected, and even a little resentful towards my husband.  We would sometimes argue about sex, and because I was the one who wanted it more, I felt like I was right and he was wrong.  It can't be wrong to want more sex right!?    I can tell you that this attitude is not helpful and did not make my husband want to have sex with me more :)  We talked about it a lot and I realized that between an extremely stressful job (that he loves!), a very busy church calling, and the demands of trying to be a good father and husband, my husband was stretched thin.  Add in the fact that his sex drive is naturally decreasing as he gets older (while mine is increasing!!) and I understood why some nights my sweet husband just "wasn't in the mood".  

We came to a compromise of sorts that is working for us.  There are still a couple nights a week when I want sex and my husband doesn't, but I have learned to be ok with it because I understand better where my husband is coming from.  There are nights, especially after a particularly difficult evening of church meetings, when he just needs me to be there for him as a wife and not as a lover.  Once I realized this, and stopped pouting about not getting sex:), I was able to focus on him and what he needed (a wife to just listen to him and support him) and I think that has brought back his sex drive more than anything else could have!  Also, we have a deal that when we skip a night, he will make it up to me the next night, and he always does :)  And I have learned to appreciate those skipped nights because it makes him all the hornier the next night, which I love!  

But what do you do?  What have you done?  I am sure a lot of marriages have the opposite problem...the husband wants it more than the wife.  Every marriage is different, every person is different, and every situation is different.  My only advice is to talk about it and find a compromise that works for both of you.  But I am curious as to what has worked for you guys?

I have a question......

This week we are doing something a little bit different. Vixen often receives emails from readers that have questions or concerns, but since it is difficult to cover all of them in our posts we are going to do our best to address a few of them this week! 

The first question is one we have tried to answer many times on this blog……

"I have been married for almost two and a half years. The longer I am married, the more I enjoy sex. I really do love sex and at times I find myself wanting it more than my husband. I love the pleasure I receive and the intimacy of being with my husband. However, there is one thing missing in my sex life…. orgasms.

Bless my husband, he has tried everything. He knows my anatomy better than I do. Not long after we were married we started talking about orgasms. He mentioned that I probably should try masturbation to learn how to climax.  Like any young Mormon bride, I was very hesitant to try touching myself.  About a year ago we bought a vibrator and I love it when he uses it on me. In fact, I have felt very close to climaxing many times when he pleasures me with it.

I know the solution to learning about orgasms is through masturbation.  However, I have tried using the vibrator on my own but I just don’t seem to get as turned on as I do when I’m with my husband.  any suggestions?"

Although we have discussed this topic before, I do have a suggestion for those of you women who have been unable to orgasm, and although willing to try self stimulation, find it a little uncomfortable.  Before I tell you the trick that just might help you, let me say that it is normal not to have orgasms right away!  For the girl who sent in this question, you are doing everything right, and trust me, it will happen eventually.  Sometimes our bodies just need time.

 I do believe that masturbation can be a great tool to use in “discovering” your body and what brings you pleasure, however, if you (like me) are not comfortable with touching yourself or using a vibrator alone, it will be difficult to relax enough to actually experience an orgasm. 

So here is a little trick…….

Turn the bath water on to a nice, comfortable temperature and while the water is running, get into the tub.  Don’t wait for the tub to fill, you want to get in as soon as there is enough water to keep you warm.  Then, lay back, open your legs, and let the water pour onto your clitoris.  Don’t think, just relax, and let the water do all the work.  Within a minute you will start to feel a warm pleasure building, keep your pelvis positioned so that the water is hitting you just right, focus on how good it feels, and before you know it you will be experiencing your first orgasm!

This will help you identify the sensations that occur before and during an orgasm without you having to touch yourself, and the water will actually help you relax and be in the moment.

Remember these feelings and sensations next time you are making love, and remember that the number one thing is to relax and just enjoy.  Don’t think about having an orgasm (or it will never come!), just focus on the pleasure and sensations you are feeling and the the rest will follow.

Any other suggestions?

Weekend Challenge....

Weekend Challenge
given by Sassyminx


All right ladies, it is time we turn the tables and throw our husbands for a loop! After reading countless comments on our husbands foreplay techniques, there seems to be a common thread. They go straight for the goods! Mine does as well, in fact I can rarely walk up a flight of stairs without being violated(innocently)! Sometimes a tender goodnight, or good morning, turns into being felt up! I have learned that these blunt shows of affection are his way of showing me that he wants me and needs me. About a year ago, I explained to him, (as many of you have tried to do with your husbands), that I did not always love that. Perhaps a little hand caress, or a neck rub, or .......you get the picture. My husband has been so great about working harder at his softer advances and affections. So hard in fact, that I think that I am going to thank him in a way that, I know he will appreciate! This is the challenge. I think that sometime this weekend, we should get rid of kids, or wait till they are sleeping, get rid of company,put the dog away,(whatever it takes to be alone) and then when our men are least expecting it,grab them! And when I say grab, I mean, rip their shirt off, take off their belt, rub your hands all over them,whisper seductively in his ear. By this time, he is good and ready, so now this is the part where you throw him on the bed,(floor,table,counter,washer,grass,trampoline) and go for the goods, right off the bat! I am willing to bet that most husbands will reciprocate with great enthusiasm. Sometimes taking control and grabbing sex by the horns so to speak, can be invigorating, and refreshing. I am excited to put this challenge to the test. I hope you will all try this out and then share how it went. Get ready to seize the moment and have some amazing sex! Have fun and let loose!!!!
Taking the reigns,
Sassyminx